We will need writers who can remember freedom: poets, visionaries - the realists of a larger reality.

Ursla Le Guin (1929-2018)

National Book Foundation speech, 2014

The Pretty Little Donald

To honour Donald Trumps visit to England, (or perhaps his exit) here is a pack featuring my 2017 Christmas Card.


Dear Santa Claus,
My mommy and mommy said that if I was very good,
I could have whatever I wanted for Christmas.
Well, I would like a Donald for Christmas.
It is a very special Donald.
I saw it advertised on television.
In case you don't know which Donald I mean,
I will try to describe it to you.
The pretty little Donald can sit.
The pretty little Donald can stand.
He will even swagger round the room and wave his tiny hands.
The pretty little Donald can spurn.
The pretty little Donald can dare.
If you feed him flattering remarks, he'll primp his hair.
Climate Change gives him mange
If you give him a scientific fact
He'll go completely whacked
Oh the pretty little Donald's so cute.
The pretty little Donald's so real.
If you put him in a room full of women, he preens
and then he'll cop a feel.
The pretty little Donald can sneer
The pretty little Donald's can pose
Pull his mane real hard and snot will dribble out his nose
The pretty little Donald can brood
The pretty little Donald can bruise
If you tell him the truth, he'll steam and scream fake news
Heavy thinking gets him stinking
On his back you can turn a key
And he'll start World War Three
Oh the pretty little Donald can wet.
The pretty little Donald can cry.
If you put a microphone near his head he'll choke, turn purple and lie.
Oh Santa, remember your part.
Don't break a little boy's heart.
Don't forget this Christmas, the pretty little Donald is the present you must leave.
Remember that fat boy, bring that kid, if you want to see New Year's eve.

Show Lyrics...

The Pack

The pack contains the video, an mp3 and a PDF featuring a lyrics sheet and the lyrics in song strip format. Make of it what you will. The song is a parody of a parody. The original Pretty Little Dolly song can be found here.

getfile: The Pretty Little Donald

ZIP: Video and PDF, 44.98 mb